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[personal profile] eisdamme
I just typebabbled this onto notepad. It probably reads like crap, but that's okay. I'm not trying to tell an epic story, just get it out on my lunchbreak before I forget it in all it's WTFBRAIN glory.

Part I:
The first part took place in my house as I know it now - apparently Louise Hay had come to my home to heal me, and she looked very much like herself as I have always seen her on her CD covers:

She was sitting on my couch with me, and there was some kind of problem with her being dehydrated that may have resulted from trying to heal me - she went to use the bathroom and then came out looking a little gray. I tried to place my hands on her to help by giving her Reiki energy or something - I think she thought I was "challenging her energy" (LOL idk) and then I saw my energy depicted in videogame pixels on a game screen making all these random videogame arcade noises as it gained more point and kept bursting up through the mazes and levels of the game. It was something like her energy was pulling mine. ...so weird.

I was telling her about how crying now choked me, and she was looking at me. At this point or a point later in the dream she told me that when my mother died I should have left and come straight to her (Louise) I didn't know what to say. I thought maybe that was where I had gone wrong and caused my own illness.

Later we were outside on steps and I saw myself in flashback crawling through blood - lots of blood in this weird outfit that was kind of like a schoolgirl outfit but not a costume, rather something a real kid would wear in private school. Then, in the 'present tense' we were talking again and she looked like the midwife from Children of Men, and suddenly I knew that she was Louise Hay and also Tori Amos and had always been both. It was odd.


+ this:



There was this sudden awareness, where I knew that I had killed "Muriel" I have no idea who this is, but in the dream she was some sort of awful murderer in life and had continued to murder from beyond the grave. She was kind of, in my mind's eye, a cross between The Juggernaut:

and The Jackal:

from Thirteen Ghosts. I knew I had killed her/banished her, but now I had to go back and relive it again.


Part II:
In the 'reliving' part of the dream I was walking and passed this 1930s-ish house, all these people that looked like they had been pulled from the set of Carnivale, some servants and some residents. I turned the corner of the house and watched the blood disappearing from my skin and clothes like it was evaporating. It was like time was being rewound as I walked and no one else was aware of it. I was looking for something, and very angry. I passed a little girl with very black skin and a very white dress and bloomers, and I knew that she had seen me 'skip time'. She pointed down toward the ground to a hole that was all jammed up with old papers and old rotting toys and other junk as if she knew what I was looking for. I don't know if she was real, or psychic or a murder victim of Muriel's, but she seemed scared and I got the sense that she knew that I had killed Muriel in the future.

I started pulling things out of the entrance/door in the ground and shouting "Muriel you bitch!" which made me scared and I could sense it scared the people around me. I wondered if I had 'woken her up.' I saw down into the pit/basement and it was bloody, and I knew if I descended that she would be there, waiting.

The home was the former home where she lived, and next I was talking to some of the people that had known her. I'm not sure if they were relatives or not, but we were still outside the house. A man was trying to hand me this pair of pants so that I could make a whip from the belt that was threaded through the loops - it had a hard, flat silver disc on it. I asked if the pants had belonged to her husband and they told me that yes, they had. I got the feeling that he was evil, too, and that having this artifact was key. It would make a much better whip that the cloth whip I had been playing with on the steps with the Louise/Midwife/Tori thing.

Inside the house I found a hair barrette that looked like a long carved bobbypin that might have had some power against her - I took it off the dresser of an old 1930s-ish room that had belonged to a female in the house. maybe Muriel's mother or sister ...or maybe Muriel. I don't know.

As I was looking at it, I wandered into the bathroom and said aloud 'Muriel, you bitch'. I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the medicine cabinet mirror and watched as part of my hair flipped down over my eye like a malevolent force had pushed it. My vision was a little red on the edges, as if I had seen blood for just a moment.

I felt that if I had been someone else or somewhere else she would have killed me with a blow to the head. I also knew that that hair flipping thing was something she used to do to torment her family (sisters?) When I went into the other room I saw that the hairpin I had found was gone. I thought maybe I had allowed her to take it by saying her name.

I asked the people in the house for bobby pins to pin the hair back from my face so that i could see - and this was some crucial thing that must be done precisely and might save my life. One of the girls gave me a silver bobby pin, and then another, and I crossed them over each other as I pinned my hair back. It felt kind of secure but the people didn't know if it would work. They tried to give me a violin, and there were some odd shaped things with the bow, like quills. I asked if the violin had been hers and they told me that it had. I didn't want it - I thought it might be cursed, and I was suddenly angry that it seemed like they were trying to trick me into taking her things.

I looked down the basement of the the house (maybe outside was a second ill-used or 'secret' entrance) and the blood was everywhere. As if someone had sprayed a hose of blood all over the steps and floor. I knew I had to do it soon and was getting nervous, thinking maybe I couldn't - and wondering if I was effing up history?
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July 2013

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